I won't even comment on it being nearly a year since I last posted...though I guess I just did. I almost feel that I should start over with a different blog, somewhere else, so as not to have to look (and allow others to look) at my derelict writings. But, this seems to be a necessary part of tacking down, that is, not allowing myself to start something new, not finish it, and start something else instead...never finishing anything.
So, since I've last written, I've gone through 9 months of rigorous pregnancy, one move from hell (seeing as I was in my 2nd trimester AND we didn't even own a vehicle at the time...yes, we carried it all on our backs), and one attempted birth induction resulting in a Caesarean from which I'm still healing.
It will be one month tomorrow since Nathanael was born. I never could've imagined how something so small (just over 8lbs) could completely take over my life. Prior to his birth, my only point of reference was my cat. She is about 12lbs. I feed her and hold her and play with her every day. I change her litter box and buy her little treats and toys made from hemp. How much more involved could a baby be? From what I'd heard, they do essentially the same things. After 2wks of 3am feedings, I realised how terribly naiive I'd been...
This, of course, led to the question: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT I WAS IN FOR??
The painfully obvious answer being that, if people told young women the truth about pregnancy, birth, and newborns, none of these women would have kids. This would result in the immediate decrescence of the human population, as the older ones died off and none came along to replace them. We would be extinct by the turn of the century. Plus, I think there's some kind of sic vengeance on the part of other mothers: no one warned me ahead of time...now it's my turn to just sit back and laugh!!
So, here I am, seemingly bemoaning my sweet son's very existence... but not at all. He's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for all the ice-cream and plane tickets in the world!!